Thursday, 17 January 2013


Except for the fact my wife found this blog, my laptop didn't shut down properly, I have succeeded.

What I mean is, yesterday I went to bed in my nightie, she didn't like it so i took it off, after i got her to say take it off. Last night, I wore it all night. She didn't like it again, but she wouldn't say take it off !

Saturday, 12 January 2013

It's been a while

Well, so much has happened. From borrowing clothes from friends, to discussing what would seem the right breast size for my build.

Everyone is still being so supportive, and I'm talking to 3 great women on a daily basis.

One turned around and said that she will support me through every stage I go through but doesn't want to be too pushy. ? too pushy ? Im enjoying every minute of it ! but still it meant a lot to me.

So, I have felt less need to write here because they are always there for me...

I have my DR's appointment this week and hope I will be referred to charing cross. Fingers crossed !

Tuesday, 8 January 2013

Is this right

After talking to my wife, I have asked myself, am I doing the right thing, then I see myself in a mirror.

And when I look in a mirror, I see a woman looking back at me. And I think, yes, this is right...

Monday, 7 January 2013

Strange feelings

This is weard, I'm happy, I have friends who are very supportive and I feel very happy where I am. Doing exactly what I'm doing at this moment in time.

I do want to progress and I have started steps to do this, but I'm now happy with the speed it's going at now.

It's a great feeling :-)

Saturday, 5 January 2013

Questions questions

I had my first councelling session last night, well, kind of...

My councillor had an emergency so I didn't get to talk to her, but spoke to the group facilitator. Yes I said what I needed to say but this morning, I have so many questions I wish I had asked.

And it's going to be 2 weeks before we meet again. I do have an email, and a mobile number but should I call? Should I email ?

Agh !!!

Thursday, 3 January 2013

First meeting

I met the councillor today. Had a chat for about an hour. It was very interesting.

So, I'm looking at a timescale of about 8 months to a year for HRT and if I want to go further the its another 2 years minimum on top.

Before any of this, I have to be tested, to ensure this is the life I want, before meds are considered.

So, I have made an appointment to see the dr. To get that process started...

Wednesday, 2 January 2013

Oh Helen !!

Please stop being the voice of reason !

Your right in what you say, and I know I should stop being so impulsive.

Thanks for being there, and bringing me back down to earth. ( with a bump sometimes )

Bad night

I hardly slept last night. I had a phone call from my mother, she blames herself for this.

I tried to reassure her it wasn't her fault, that nature some times gets it wrong, but she just cried.

After 32 calls to my sisters mobile, she eventually picked up and I asked her to take mum to see someone.

What makes things worse was she was on prescribed medication when she was expecting me, so her immediate reaction was, did the meds have anything to do with it. And she is blaming her self for that too.

So that was on my mind as well as the autogynephilia information I read. Come on appointment. I need to discuss this

Tuesday, 1 January 2013


Wow and wow and wow wow wow...
I have just read 28 narratives about autogynephilia, and it's like it was strangers writing about my life. How I have felt, what I have done to get by and pass as male. how do they know me that well???

Slow down

Sat here in Starbucks with my wife, staring at Facebook. The urge to tell the world what is happening is so strong, it's unbelievable..

But I know I have to wait till the end of this week before making any impulsive actions..

Come on Friday !!!


I found one, a blouse which unless you look at it carefully, you wouldn't know it's woman's clothing. AND ! I found a shop which sells corsets in my size! I'm so excited.

First, my assment appointment is this week.
Secondly, I have chosen a name
Thirdly , I have found clothing I want to wear to work...

Roll on 2013, I'm waiting for you !

Welcome to 2013

I had a breakthrough yesterday. My wife, instead of repeating that she didn't want to sleep with a woman, started to tell me what was on her mind.

This included, if she decides to leave me, then she would have to go in to a warden controlled housing due to her disability.

I just hope she continues to open up and talk to me