I built the double bed yesterday and slept in the spare room. I felt... Well I felt free to do as I please. I could wear what I wanted to bed, listen to music through the night, yeah, it felt good.
Going back a few hours, my wife said she felt we should try sleeping apart, as family and friends thought it would be best. She spent most of the day voicing her love for me and kept saying she wants to sleep with me but can't sleep with a woman., so I spent most of the day clearing out my room and building a spare bed.
To be honest, I think I want to stay in the the spare room where I don't have to justify what I'm going.
For example, I put some deodorant on and that prompted why have you got perfume on. It's not the fact I'm wearing deodorant, it's that she makes me feel that I have to justify everything I'm doing. I said to her why did she say that, if I was wearing perfume, then she knows why. What I need to hear is if it smells nice or not, not why.
Its hard enough trying to be ourselves without the addition of justification. Its a shame though that its come to separate rooms. I hope that this is only temporary.
ReplyDeleteI also hope that your friends are back in touch - its good to have support.