Thoughts

I keep going through my thoughts, trying to justify my feelings.

As a child, I didn't really play with boys toys, but to the same measure, what I did have wasn't specifically girls toys either. Although I did play with my sisters doll head thing, where you apply makeup and do up its hair...

Even now, I don't follow the male trend. For example, knowing the insides out of a car to me is very masculine. But a car to me is a means to get from a to b.

I iron, taking pride in it. I can remember, in a previous job, we had a work uniform. I always felt sorry for the women. Their clothes always seemed to be so muck more complex than the men's, taking more time to make it 'right' for work, sometimes feeling that this complexity was done on purpose in an attempt to remove women from the work place.

I can't have children. I have all the bits required, but they just don't work.

I feel more at ease in the company of women. I can talk to them. I feel they understand me more than my male friends do.

I get emotional and cry while watching movies - actually more than my wife does...

I feel more right, looking through women's clothing than I do looking for men's clothing.

And now ? I'm growing my hair. I asked miss x about my hair, she suggested I grow it until spring, see how I feel about it then, as she prefers long hair and doesn't understand why anybody would cut it short, especially now, in winter..